I Forget

Posted on June 20, 2018 | Posted by Annie Saunders

I forget to speak Your name.

When I do, often it’s in vain.

I push Your words to the back of my thoughts.

I dilute myself so others won’t know I pray to the Cross.

How must I appear to You?

Silly, prideful, ignorant.

Meager half-thoughts offered up as brilliant.

In my daily doubts and failures–I forget to say Your name.

I pray too little.

I love conditionally.

Yet.

Despite my shames, setbacks, and wrong-doings–

You reveal Yourself to me.

Not when I angrily demand it.

Not when I seek it in forced silence.

Not when I dig through books of revelation.

You’re there when I break.

You’re there when I sing.

You’re there when I write, or dream, or see a beautiful thing.

You arrive on Your terms,

and when You do–

the moments of certainty, clarity, and elation,

outshine the Thomas, the Peter, and the Saul.

When I say Your name,

it is more than everything.

• faith
• poem
• reflections